Moving Story, Church Brag, & Near Death (Part Two of 3 part story)

Part Two
~Church Brag~

Can we just say we have a pretty sweet group of people who make up our church??

It's become a give-in that Monty needs help most every Saturday (and in between 😦) and our faithful fellow labourers have done nothing but bend over backwards for us. Giving of their time and energy as they are able. And yet they still seem to like us. 😄

We. Appreciate. You. All. So. Much. ❤

It's humbling to us, so very much.

Needing so much help is hard.

We've needed help before but it's come back to bite us (by family, not our last church).

Very, very few people have ever willingly dropped everything to give us a hand when we were struggling to keep a 130 acre farm going. It was like, You poor suckers, you didn't have to farm.

 It felt horrible to be desperate and finally ask but know it was given grudgingly. Or the many times we were promised help on a certain day only to be left hanging... And the deeply discouraged look that would come over my husband to be let down again. 😢 Like as if he enjoyed "using" people. He hated it!! And still does.

I seriously feel emotional thinking of the vast difference we have in the support here. It hasn't been any easier trying to survive but the support makes all the difference. My eyes get all watery, even as I write this post. We don't take a single deed or person or their time for granted (we never did before either but our meager attempts to show appreciation apparently meant nothing...). 

We both look forward to a day we can return some of this rich favor. 

So, back to our church here.

As if every Saturday since March isn't enough, they've volunteered mid week work nights as well. In June our young people spent hours cutting up several truck loads of logs/wood and stacking it in our basement. We felt richly blessed.

The wood is whole other story. Our entire supply last winter came from a fellow from a different church -for nothing- and he is STILL bringing us truckloads. He says he does it to keep himself out of trouble. He was born again in prison. "Just" another person God is using to make us feel rich during this uphill climb to fix this place up.

A few weeks ago most of our church came and pitched in in a host of corners.  I regret not getting before or, at least, during pictures (except one):

This garden.

It's certainly not a source of pride and joy this year. 

I had given up even having one since we already had our hands full and we have no way of tilling now that my Dad's tractor/tiller is 3 hours away.

But the beginning of June, Dave Bailey (who has helped us much, especially by way of his girls milking for us on many occasions) came and tilled and made raised beds for us.

This particular garden is new. Monty plowed an area of upper yard up because the existing garden is in a wet spot and gets a lot of shade. We did plant some things there, and it's much easier to weed than this one that these ladies are working on in the picture....

Anyway, I can share the after effects!

From cutting more wood to weed eating, cleaning out sorry looking flowerbeds, weeding garden, cleaning up the wood mess from the last wood cutting, trimming trees, and putting up fencing...

Between the plants got done, with piling the weed's in the rows as we are mulching the garden. I got a lot mulched later - now I'm waiting for more to get brought home.

And of course there's good food afterwards. 😊

Since this work night, there was another work night here last week.

We got the milkhouse washed, painting started in the parlor, and replaced the old worn out mailbox.

And that brings us to part 3, Near Death.

A continuation of the church work night and the hazards of a large burn pile.... (just a warning, no persons were hurt).

So be on the look out. 

Moving Story, Church Brag, & Near Death ( Part One of 3 part story)

Part One
~Moving Story~

Ok, so I've been absent for awhile....
And while I started this almost 3 weeks ago and fully intended to have it up at that time...
It became a rather lengthy post, especially with all the pics I wanted to add, so it suddenly occurred to me, why not break it up?!
Great idea! So here goes:

"We've been busy"

But it's the truth!

 I get these post ideas in my head, especially when I have pictures I wish to share, but I never get to writing them down...

I will blame it on our latest project.

Earlier this year we agreed to buy a small farm 6 miles from where we were/are renting. Let's just say it has turned into a HUGE job.

The previous tenants have a LOT of STUFF. And getting them to get their stuff out proved to be really difficult. They "moved" just around the corner in December and this is what the house looked like inside, the beginning of February - after they had moved a little more out since we first saw it the end of January:

After repeated deadlines to get it ALL out so we could start working on the place, and failing to do so, we ended up hauling the entire rest of the house to a pile in the yard the day we had a cleaning day, a Thursday in March. Guess what?! They had it all sorted through before the weekend! Worked great! 😁

That cleaning day.

Ugh. I seriously pitied the poor souls who came to help.

This house looked to have been uncleaned in years (how could you with it full of so much??) including chickens in the basement, birds they raised (parakeets??) and a lot of rodents who had full reign of the place. We're still suffering while it airs out. 🐀 Even after painting nearly every room.

The mud room/entry way/make-shift laundry room was so crowded with stuff and STUNK. I soon discovered why.

Yes, that's a dead rat.

Then came repeated deadlines to clean the garage out, for real. I think by then he had stacked his "valuables" in one corner after some other deadline, not exactly what we meant but anyway... No go.

So, a quick text: "We need the garage cleaned out by (whatever date it was) or it will have to get piled in the yard." We get there the day we wanted to work on the garage and it was "empty" (of what he was keeping)!

Oh, wait. It's all piled in the barn instead!! 😭😭

Another twist to this story is their turkeys, chickens, and ducks. 🦃🐔

The barn was FULL of foul. They had even had them in a room in the basement of the house! 😷😣 The entire milkhouse was makeshift cages. It was rat city like you've never seen.
(Please excuse the quality of these pictures. They came from another phone and wouldn't come thru clearly for me 😕)

 The milkhouse, next 2 pics:

Monty tried all kinds of things to get them out of there. Even told him he had buyers for the turkeys. He almost bit but then decided he couldn't do that, they're some kind of special breeding stock. 😐 Long story short on that one, sometime in April all but 3 turkeys, 2 ducks, 2 roosters and 2 hens were out of here.

Also in April, during one of the many Saturdays we had a work day, the guys loaded up the stash in the barn, in several trips, and hauled it over to where it belonged. We'd been working around their junk stuff for a month and a half, what do you do? It was sore tempting to "take care of it" for them... 🙊 They told him that day it was on its way over and he was sputtering about it when they got there. 

Finally! We could burn the rest and start cleaning this place up!

At least we can laugh about it now. 🙃

It was one of (or the first) work days we had that the guys began cleaning the milkhouse out. When they started putting water down the drain, out came pouring rat after rat! Talk about a frenzy among the guys that started!! Before the day was over the death toll on the rats was something like 42, and that didn't include the ones that drowned somewhere down there.

We've been cleaning this place out, and up!, and remodeling for 6 months now. And we are weary of it. 😐 We moved into the house June 19th but are still plugging away at the barn here and milking at the other place. We hope to move the cows "soon", that's a relative term. ;) At least all the calves, heifers, dry cows, and Doretha's critters are here now. That gives us girlies something to do here and only milking and feeding cows over there. And inspection is suppose to be next week so we are really hoping cows can be moved that same day. 

Stay tuned for part two. 😆

Musings...

A month ago today I joined the statistics of those who have "suffered miscarriage".

We have all been doing well.

It's impossible for me not to ever think about it. 

I had really looked forward to another summer baby.

Perhaps it's mostly because of the fact that Monty was still working nights when Kayela was born and I was back in the barn full time by the time she was 8 wks old, milking alone because he was gone, bundling two little people up and trekking across our yard and road while lugging a carseat, hearing both wailing after a long night and trying to get done asap... that my memories of a winter baby aren't real positive.  :)

I can't help but remember from time to time that I would've have been feeling my baby by now; in a few weeks I would've started wearing maternity dresses.

In fact, we had just bought material for a new one 2 days before it started. It now sits in a drawer...

I am so far from perfect but if there is one thing I/we have learned over the years, it's that you can never improve on God's design. My confidence is in Him. He is unchanging, so holy, so GOOD; working in ways behind the scenes that we'll never fully understand this side of eternity. I am learning to look at the changes in life as part of His plan, a writing of our story. We were put here to bring. Him. glory. Nothing  else. Envying someone else's story isn't an option. In fact I've come to see we all have our own burdens and I don't want someone else's! It certainly works best to approach life's hurts and questions, even our goals and plans, with a, how can I bring the Lord glory thru this?, attitude than to fight in one's hearts about it. Really though, isn't it amazing that a God who placed us here to glorify Him, has also said He "works everything for OUR good" also! He has a big job!!

Thanks to our years of infertility struggles, oh the pain! It still feels fresh in my mind! And the examples of people who have lived for God thru HARD stuff (my favorite books being those of believers during World War 1 and 2 -"Evidence Unseen" is tops-, persecuted countries and missionary stories like Peace Child), my confidence in a perfect God is sure. Over and over again I could see how His hand was in the tiny details of such impossible situations. Even in the thick of unspeakable heartache His plan was at work - and in time He brought healing to those heart wounds. He will not leave us comfortless. 

It. is. not. our. place. to. question. God.

It truly pains me when people start dragging my God into, Why doesn't He stop this, or that?? You'd think He could do something about all the evil in this world. How can He "just sit there and do nothing?" Do not blame God! He has given us all free will and choice. If He steps in in "those" situations, then you'd best expect Him to be God in your choices to! Honestly, if you think He should bring swift judgement to evil people and keep innocent souls from their destruction, what should stop Him from the rest of us?? None of us are good enough on our own to face a holy God.

If you were to ask a "survivor" of some abuse or tragedy who has found healing thru Christ they would also tell you:

He HAS!!

He did do something and He's not done.

He has made beautiful provision for the filth and dirt of our sin, even the effects of others sinful choices on us. Our hearts can be and FEEL CLEAN!! 

Oh! the real tragedy is in not having Someone to go to for the healing they/we so desperately need! 

How much worse to live with a hopeless, worthlessness through all of life!

Anyway, if you're still reading (!), all this to say, my thoughts have been much on life, our finite plans, the endless questions and second guessing people are so prone to do towards the Lord, His goodness through it all - what wondrous love and patience! 

Do we not want our little people to be quick to obey, not answering again and just trust that we really do know best when we ask them to do something they may not see the importance of? Oh, for a heart that trusts our "Daddy" completely when we can't see the broader picture.

Thanks for listening. 💟

Children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward...

Most people know our girls did not come easily.

Hardly a day goes by that we do not see them as miracles and our hearts swell with the fullness of thanksgiving at our gifts.

It was with a great amount of shock to learn we were expecting again when Kayela was 12 months old.

 Our first taste of being "normal"!! Still I could not wrap my head around the fact.  It felt surreal or something.

 Yet, somehow, deep down I didn't have a good gut feeling about it.

Something just didn't seem right.

In spite of a couple weeks of fatigue like I never had with the girls and feeling some morning sickness. It bothered me that feeling sick started later and didn't have the intensity it did with the girls. It was barely there at all. Then it abruptly ended on my 9 wk mark. Some would say, "Maybe it's a boy!"

This was just after we began telling people...

Still I just kept and pondered these things in my heart.

Other red flags went off over time. Why wasn't I beginning to feel that "firmness" inside yet, why didn't I feel pregnant at all. I felt too normal. 

When people would say, "I thought this would happen!" or "Congratulations!" I smiled and said, thank you, but I felt numb.

And then it happened.

Our first clue came last Saturday evening that something really wasn't right. Sunday all seemed ok but I felt this suspense.

Sunday night it started and yet we held onto a small thread of hope that maybe it was something else. I expected to feel like I was in labor if it was a miscarriage but it never got bad.

Tuesday morning I took the picture below. Somehow I felt it was a gift from the Lord as I love beautiful mornings and at that point wasn't sure if we'd lost it yet or not. I remember wondering if it wouldn't end up being used for a "memorial card".

By Tuesday evening we knew it was over without a doubt.

I never got to see our baby and highly suspect it was gone a long time.

Today we feel at peace.

In some ways it's a relief to know those gut feelings did mean something and we can now move on. The what-if's and what should've-been's are what hurts. But we will not dwell on what isn't.

The following is edited: I had said "And the sympathy of loved ones" - but please don't feel you must not say anything. It has all meant a lot to us to know you care. I guess I meant the care shown has just made it more real, but that's ok! I'm just trying to be honest! 

In all honesty we have not felt just crushed and devastated. Yes, I've cried a little but I think if there was proof that there was life when it happened it would've cut much deeper. But the fact that I never felt that confidence that there was life in there like I did with the girls and it felt forced to just "believe" it, kept me from getting very tied up emotionally. Maybe no one can understand that, but that's the best I know to describe it. 

(Thank you to the friend who pointed this out and confirmed in my mind that I needed to (try to) clarify this ;))

We will look at our beautiful girls with more love than ever (how?!) and hold them even tighter, and will live for today!

God is good.

He is close.

And He never fails!

2015 Reflections Part 3

Our biggest highlight of the year was an incredible sweet blessing in the form a "little" bundle of baby girl!

We were blessed with another home birth. A shorter but much more intense birth. Our pickle had her hand along her face and was as big as sister was at 3 months! I was still glad it was only 9 hours vs. 22 and we had a much better and seasoned midwife than last time.....

Anyway here is:

Kayela Marie

November 1, 2015

10:39 am ~ 9 lbs 4 oz ~ 23"

Yes, it's pronounced like Kayla.

A social worker my folks work with spells it that way and we liked it.

Proud Daddy

A very proud sister just half an hour later!

Grandpa Hustad

Aunt Hannah

Grandma Hustad

Uncle Josh

3 days olds. "Bright-eyes"

Strong sisterly love!

This was taken last night during milking.

We all love our precious Baby Dear!